Third Time’s the Charm

Gramma Bella says that sometimes people get tired. So tired that all the want is to lie down in the softness and stay there until something changes that makes like exciting and new again. When you’re dead, you can afford to do just that. But the rest of us must muddle through life waiting for the day to come when happiness finds us.

Lately, Jesse and I don’t have a lot of happiness that doesn’t involve our children. Gramma Bella says Jesse is lost in the forest of his own discontent and he has a long way to go before he before he finds his way out.

It’s because of the house. I know that the house, my beautiful castle, has driven a wedge between us. I try to understand, but I love it. It’s the home I was meant to live in. Deep down in my heart, I know this to be the truth.

All Jesse sees is the money. He can’t grasp it that money isn’t all that important. There are other things. Warmth and joy, comfort, nurture. My house has all of these, but he can’t see it.

The fog in the forest he travels has blinded him. I must wait for the fog to lift so he can come out of the forest and join me in our home.

What pains me the most is that he won’t talk about it, not with me. Instead, he buries himself in both work and his writing.

I’ve always known Jesse wanted to be a writer. He used to tell such wonder stories when we were teenagers, stories so vivid, I almost believed them to be real people. Now he spends hours sitting in the den with his computer, pouring their voices onto the screen.

I know that he’s published a couple of his stories. The publishing company sends complimentary books every time he does.

I only wish that I could feel like a part of it.

Instead, I feel cast aside, floating and wandering with nothing to anchor me.

Kind of like Uncle Uriah. He and Aunt Bianca divorced, did you know that? And Aunt Donna has gone missing. It’s very, very odd. I asked Gramma Bella about her and she assured me that Aunt Donna is not among the dead. But where she, Gramma did not know. it makes her sad. So does Aunt Bianca. She won’t pay child support for her children and she’s very, very mean sometimes. I always thought she loved my cousins. So did Gramma Bella. It breaks her heart.

In the absence of anything better to do, I find myself doing… whatever I feel like when I’m not at work. I joined the cause to abolish scientific testing on lady bugs. Half the people there were related to me – including my sister. Elena thought someone should have brought a guitar. Protests, she said, need music.

The protest went off without a hitch and the cops weren’t called in. I was so glad! It was such fun and it would have been a shame for half the family to be hauled off to jail. Somehow, I don’t know if we would have the money for Jesse to bail me out.

But think of the adventure that would have been, too! Sitting on a cold bench tethered to the wall, wearing an orange jumpsuit. Rubbing elbows with hardened criminals… or maybe just Aunt Bianca. (She’s rich… but she won’t tell anyone how she made her money. It’s really very suspicious.)

Then again, perhaps it’s best that I didn’t get thrown in jail. For the kids, you know? What kind of example would that have set for them?

They’re growing up now and doing it so fast that I can barely keep track.

One minute, Helena and Jeffrey are struggling with fourth grade math…

… and the next, we’re celebrating their birthday and they’re suddenly teenagers!

Jeffrey is dating that Foreman Girl. Marrissa or Melissa or Something… I admit I barely know them because the Foremans are new in town, and surprisingly NOT related to us! But they have two daughters and I can’t tell them a part at all.

Helena is obsessed with art, and has been painting pictures every minute of the day. Much like her father with his writing. My own father, Lester, was an artist. As were Aunt Bianca, Aunt Donna and my dearly missed Gramma Bella.

When he isn’t with his girlfriend, Jeffrey is in the garage tinkering on his inventions. He won’t tell anyone what he is making, just that he’s going to make a name of himself someday.

Isaac and Kenneth both grew up just as fast. They went from babies to toddlers to children in a blink of an eye.

And then before I knew it…

… teenagers. Handsome ones, my sons. Kenneth has my hair and eyes, while Isaac has his father’s chiseled features and Gramma Bella’s green eyes.

Through it all, Jesse wrote novels and worked… we slept in the same bed but barely talked. The forest of his discontent is very, very deep and wide indeed, but I will continue to wait for him because I do love him. Even after all this time.

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Simmer’s Note: my game was glitched for a while, really badly. I replayed the same 4 sim-days over and over for a week because I would reach a certain point and the game would crash. I almost lost them once when the whole folder became corrupt and it wouldn’t open them. The only reason I have them now is because of Twallan. In the midst of it, when I was playing, I really did a horrible job of taking pictures, because after a point, I didn’t think I was going to be able to save them. If you need proof, this is what the original teaser for Chapter 24 looked like, about a week ago. Thankfully, this is NOT that chapter anymore. Thank you, Twallan.

Tags: bella bachelor, bianca bachelor, donna bachelor, fern bachelor, gen 2, gen 3, gen 4, helena bachelor, isaac bachelor, jeffrey bachelor, jesse lum, kenneth bachelor, uriah parise

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 18th, 2010 at 11:04 am and is filed under Bella On Her Own Terms, Notes from the Simmer. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.